Feeling cold.....

Have you ever felt so cold n empty on the inside tat u even feel ur heart freezing?? Well I feel tat now.. I never felt so down and angry at everything.. I think the reason y i like solitude is because if i were to be wid my frens I would take it out on them.. I guess tat's one reason and when i'm alone I can think and be in my own world... So many times I've felt so down tat I dun want to get up.. Frens cheer me up on the outside but not on the inside.. They all dun noe how I truly feel deep down... I can look happy and crazy but deep down do u noe wat I'm feeling?? I alwayz think bout wat will happen if I die?? I noe I'll be missed but soon I'll be forgetten like a distant memory.... Everyone expects so much from me and when I dun match their expectations I feel like I've dissapointed them.. I guess tat's the reason no one sees the true me... I dun dare open up my heart fully to anyone anymore..... I feel so alone... When I'm wid frens i just feel like their the wind, they come and go.... I dun feel like I'm the person I actually am and becoming a person everyone wants or likes me to be.... Sometimes basketball is the only thing tat gets things off my mind..... I really can't stand dis life... And I noe one day be I'll gone wid the wind.....

The way I FELT bout u...

Photo by Ryan Cabrera

A photo, can say a thousand things
But it can't say the million things
I wanna say
A photo, can capture the way we were
But it can't capture the way we are
Cause you're far away

What it's like to know you
What it's like to touch you
Yeah...

When you told me that you loved me
Were those just words?
You can't tell me you don't need me
And I know that hurts
Cause I'm looking at your picture
Cause it's all I've got
Maybe one day, you and me will have
One more shot

Timing, lost minutes and moments
Yeah, I might be lonely, girl
But I'm not afraidIn a second, it all comes right back to me
No, nothing's forgotten now
Yeah, everything's saved

What it's like to touch you
What it's like to know you
Yeah...

When you told me that you loved me
Were those just words?
You can't tell me you don't need me
And I know that hurts
Cause I'm looking at your picture
Cause it's all I've got
Maybe one day you and me will have
One more shot

You were my life
You were my faith
You gave me hope everyday

When you told me that you loved me
Were those just wordsYou can't tell me you don't need me
And I know that hurts
Cause I'm looking at your picture
Cause it's all I've got
Maybe one day you and me will have
One more shot

WAT'S WRONG WID ME???

I have absolutely no idea wat the hell is wrong wid me.... Suddenly I feel so depressed and unhappy... Around my frens, I feel so normal but deep down I noe tat my heart's not at peace.. Its really troubled.. But the prob is, I DUN NOE WAT'S TROUBLING MY HEART?!?!?! Everything started to go down hill when me and dis guy decided tat we were not going to continue being not an official couple... So we decided to be frens but somehow now I dun think we are even frens.. We seldom sms each other, never talk, and even if we do sms it'll be like 1-2 sms... I really dunno wat's happening.. I may be falling into depression.. I feel like everyone's expecting me to do great things.. My exams have just started.. And more pressure to get good grades and not to fail is added to my burden.. I already have so much on my shoulders i feel like already crawling coz of the weight.. I feel really really unhappy deep down... The thought of suicide haunts me... My heart is confused, troubled, unhappy, lost and worried.. Sometimes I really want to give up.. Other times, the burden becomes too great tat I just wanna break down and cry.. Tat has happened to me b4.. I felt so low and so pressured tat I just cracked and broke down. Nothing seems to calm me down.. I really dunno wat's going on wid me.. I'm losing my mind... Pls help me oh Lord.. I need u to help me..