Can It Hurt Anymore? Apparently it can.

There's no way of describing the pain of getting your heart broken. Not only did it get broken, it was smashed into microscopic pieces. So many times, it felt like I couldn't go on. Isn't that what you want?

You asked me why I got so emotionally involved when we agreed to go with the flow. This is MY flow. How do I not get emotionally involved. I'm not stone-hearted okay.

I need you to show me that you feel something. Anything.

I'm frustrated, tired, hurt, angry, heartbroken and whatever else you could feel. You just keep adding salt to my wounds. How do I heal when you keep doing that?

It was not my decision, it was yours. You're leaving, not me. You're not coming, and I'm there alone. And yet, I'm hurting more than you.

Just leave me alone...

Gives Me Hope

I know I should be doing my phase 5 right now but I'm in no mood right now. You wouldn't be either if you in my position.

I've actually been seeing this website all over Facebook but never really bothered to read it till I saw it on Jess' blog and well now I'm addicted.

Some of the stories that are so touching and inspirational.

So much so that I felt like I should write some of my own. =)

I posted the first one on facebook but I'll just repost it here.

1. Being so hurt and heartbroken for the first time. My friends were there to pick me up, put back the pieces and cheer me up so I could keep going. My friends are what Gives Me Hope. =)

2. Feeling so lost, alone and hurt, I asked God to help me. He did. He sent me friends who showed me how much they care for me. He showed me His love and comfort through my friends. His care for me Gives Me Hope. =')

3. Whenever I was sad, I would to go to my dog and pet her. And every time I did, she came closer and pawed me, which in a way made me feel like she was saying, "Are you okay? I'm always here for you." And when I stopped, she would look at me with the most understanding eyes telling me that whatever it is, I would be okay. She gives me hope. ;)

4. I was trying so hard to hide my feelings when my sister called. Within 10 seconds of the call, she knew something wasn't right. She came to comfort me and listened to me though she knew in her heart and mind that I was going to go through those feelings. My comforting and understanding sister, gives me hope.

I now feel so grateful for all the things I have, for the people I've met and have and for the things they've done for me.

Life may be a huge obstacle but you forget that sometimes with the people cheering you on, you can face anything.

Life's Too Short To Be Anything.. But Happy.

I found this really awesome picture on this website, Happy Things.

It sorta inspired me. Why waste time getting angry at something that is out of your control? Leave it be because all its gonna do is ruin your day. =)

So be happy when everyone else isn't. ;)

I'm listening to

the sound of my fan and the other random sounds in the background.

:)

It Changed Everything.

Honestly, today started out shitty. I got like a 76% on my major project. It may sound like a lot but it isn't. And the thing is it was a really major part of my project. I felt so disappointed in myself and I think my lecturer did too. Definitely not my standard of work.

Things didn't get better from there. I got story after story of some conflict between my friends and I just don't like conflict happening between anyone especially my close friends. And now trust has become an issue between some of them. something that doesn't make things any better.

Stayed back for touch football (american football) with the CPU-ians. I actually didn't know I was playing. I only found out that morning and guess what? I didn't bring shorts so I played in my jeans. yes, I did look like a retard but after awhile I just didn't care. I wanted to have fun. Before I started the game, I was very angry cause he ditched me. Literally. I was waiting for his call of whether he's going and he didn't call nor show up. So I gave up and my friends told me to cool down and just enjoy the game.

The game, well, it was really difficult for everyone to sorta get what to do. Andrew seemed like the only one who knew what to do, so I guess its pretty frustrating for him cause 15 people were doing what they thought was the way to play the game. While we trying to play, a group of Americans came up and asked talked to Andrew. They had some meeting to attend and said they'll join us after and they did. A whole BIG group of them. All in all, there were about 30-40 people. We split into 4 groups and took turns playing.

Most of them were guys and so it was hard to remember their name. I remembered my teammates though. Oh man, I just realized I didn't take a group picture with them. =( Anyways, their names were Eric, Adam, Kate and errr... errr.. crap.. I forgot his name. Oppss.. SORRY!! =S. Bryan, Mark, Keat Yang, who are from CPU and I can't remember who else. Anyways, I think we played a pretty awesome game. GO TEAM AWESOME! =D.

While resting, I got to know the two other American girls, who were Courtney and Hannah. These people were awesome! I wished I took more pictures though. =( We sat around and talked. They're from North Carolina on their summer break. They said they'll be here for a couple of weeks so the guys exchanged phone numbers while the girls exchanged emails. We definitely should play another game with them after our finals. After they went back, we just hung around for awhile and Evelyn, Natasha and I started carrying each other from behind and like playing a fool. Man, that was sooo fun.

And I just realized that finals are NEXT WEEK!!! =S!!!!!! I've not even started studying.. eiiiikkkkkk!!! I'm so dead. But whatever. Nothing's gonna ruin my day now. I'm still high from the adrenaline and pure awesome fun from the game. =D

From left : Natasha, Kate, Courtney, Hannah, Evelyn and I. =)

P/S : I just realized I haven't been putting the I'm listening to thing at the bottom of my post for the last few posts. So sorry!! =)

I'm listening to

Airplanes by B.o.B. feat Hayley Williams from Paramore

If I Wanted, Would You Leave Me Alone.

This week has been a very stressful week. Wait. Stressful can't even cut it. Its been a I-think-I-would-drop-dead week. Being sick does not make anything better.

Cause finals are coming, lecturers are rushing to finish everything in time.

I'm so glad English is done with cause I handed in my research log today. Sorry Mr. James, I know its 2 weeks overdue.

The most stressful part of Data should be done with by tomorrow. And thank you Mr. Chai for postponing the test to next week!!! You have seriously just saved my life.

Individuals on the other hand. Yeah not so good. I have to get started on it ASAP, in order for me to show him my rough draft of Phase 5 so I can amend it and like score higher. Grrrr. And I also have a "quest" tomorrow. A "quest" is a combination of a quiz and a test which still carries a weight-age of 3!!! T-H-R-E-E!!! ARRRGHHH!!! Someone kill me now.

I've gotta do some stuff now. I'll come back to re-edit this post sometime when I'm freer. Sorry people! =S.

Take cares!!

The Way We Roll

For Victor's birthday, the awesome foursome plus the other one (Fish), took him to BBQ Plaza in Sunway Pyramid. We initially wanted to go to Lakeside Campus there to chill, since everyone's saying that its a cool place to hang out and take pictures, a other reason why we avid cam-whorers wanted to go, but it was raining so hard that we decided to go to Sunway instead. We didn't take a lot of pictures but those that we took are in Facebook. I'm too lazy to upload it here. XD.

Oh yeah, before that, the awesome foursome bought him a Secret Recipe Oreo Cheese slice of cake but only celebrated after class cause by the time Nat and I had come back from getting the cake the presentations already started.

That's pretty much about what we did for his birthday!

I really hope you enjoyed it Victor! =)

P/S : I'm down with a very bad sore throat. How bad you may ask? Its so bad that I can't even shallow without feeling painful and I sorta lost my voice. It seems to be better now that I had some warm soup for lunch. Still as painful and swollen but more bearable. XD. I'll add more colour to the post later on. I'm just too lazy now. =P

___________________________________________________________________

I'll just make this a two in one post.

Anyways, as you can see from my P/S from above. I'm obviously having a sore throat. I went to have a nap when I came home cause everyone's saying like ohh, you're sick you must rest more. and so I did. and guess what? I felt even worse after the nap then I was before.

I woke up with a body ache and fever. Just as I woke up my mum came home so she took me to the doctor and even the doctor was surprised to see how bad my sore throat is/was. He was like, "Oh so bad until your voice also change ar?" and after checking my throat, he was still surprised at how swollen it was. XD

So he asked me to "forget about eating fried or spicy food" and gave me some meds.

From my P/S note above, I said that it was hard for me to shallow right. Its just weird but the doctor gave me some meds that are big. Like what the heck?!?! Shallowing my saliva hurts what more shallowing these pills. =_='.

Anyways, like Jess said. Its not the doctor that makes the meds. But couldn't he prescribe something not so big? XD

So yeah. That's pretty much about it.

P/S : awwww. He takes such good care of me and cares about me so much that it makes me feel all fuzzy on the inside. =) He proves to me over and over again why I love being with him. ;)

Happy Birthday Victor! =)

This post is dedicated to my bestie, Victor Tan Shea Khai! I know his birthday was yesterday but I was lazy to blog yesterday. XD

So anyways, this guy has finally turned 18 and legal! This dude is so awesome I tell you. He's always there for me listening to me rant and crap, and doing it oh so patiently. =D He's just an awesome dude that just got his braces off and is now stuck with retainers! hahahaha!

Both of us, well, we insult and make fun of each other so much that we seem to be immune to each other's insults. hahaha. Oh and if it wasn't cause of him, I wouldn't have met HIM and you "betrayed him" to tell me. heheheheh. weeee. =D.

Thanks for everything Victor! =)

All the best dude. I hope you going to NZ next year doesn't change anything. ;)

For You My People! =)

Okay la. I know I've been posting some really emo posts and stuff so I'll post something happy today cause some awesome people cheered me up before I went to bed last night. =)

For those of you who don't already know, I'll like to tell you that I have such awesome, supportive friends! Not to mention great listeners.

If you took everything away from me but my friends and my family, I'll still be happy. =D

They totally made me laugh my heart and lungs out yesterday. Though we see each other everyday, Skyping with them is AWESOME!!! A-W-E-S-O-M-E! I tell you.

And I would have let my blog slowly die till I have the mood to revive it again, if it wasn't for Sio Leng Hue who makes me update my blog. ;) So people who like reading my blog, you should thank her! =)

P/S : I've been having the most unhealthy breakfast's ever for the past couple of days. Corntoz, nips, twisties, bika, and other snacks does not, I repeat DOES NOT help in getting ready for prom. =_=!

What If's

Tell me what to feel, cause I'm lost.

I'm happy cause, I finally know, you're coming to prom and you're my best friend.

I'm confused cause, you're leaving way too soon, your status' are making me feel so insecure and I'm afraid to get hurt.

All I need from you is that reassurance that if I give you my heart, that you won't break it.

I want to talk to you about all my doubts so that if I do get my heart broken, I have time to heal before my finals though I may never get over it.

Losing you is a double blow because you're my best friend and above it all, that comes first.

So tell me, what should I do? or what should I feel?

*Edit : They say falling in love is always a risk. Wish me luck people cause I'm going for it. This afternoon's talk with him made me fall in love with him again and again. He turned out to be so much more than I expected. And I never knew that he had feelings for me for so long. =)

Its Just Lagging

My computer is lagging so badly right now. I need to reformat it soon. =S

I had an awesome day today. I spent some time with my brother at the Digital Mall where I went a little crazy and bought some pretty cool stuff. =D . Hmmm. I just realized that I haven't spent time with my bro in a long while. Awww. I miss laughing my lungs out. =P.

Anyways, my trip to the Digital Mall in PJ ended up with me buying a laptop skin, a laptop cover/bag-like-thing, an external hard drive (that looks hideous but so worth the money) and completely and almost utterly broke.

Now, I know how my friend could spend almost RM1500 on electronics in one go. XD

I should be asleep or doing my ISU essay, research log or Phase 4 but screw it. My mind's not here so I can't even concentrate. Whatever la.

The hardest thing in the world,

Is knowing that the person you love,

Is in love with another person.

But what hurts even more,

is that other person is your friend.

Listening to :

Boyce Avenue - Every breath

Right In Front of You.

I'm feeling extra sleepy today. It might have to do with the fact that its a Wednesday today. =P

And I just realized something. Shoot. I forgot what it was. =_='. Oh wait. Now I remember. I just realized that I haven't gone back at 4 from college for quite a few days now. XD

I'm supposed to be doing my English ISU essay now cause I might be going out on Sunday and my presentation is on Friday. ish. And I have a Hamlet test tomorrow but I'm still blogging.

And if you wanted to know, the Hamlet video that we've been doing for the past few days turned out awesomely. The bloopers was FUNNY!! I blushed quite badly during that video. So much so that after English, one of my friends was like, "Whoa. Why are you so red?". XD. hahaha.

I have my Data group project to figure out. I was 'smart' enough to change the game. =_='. Why do I kill myself like this? Dumbness.

Oh. Talking about dumbness. I've been feeling very dumb recently. I can't remember specific events but I remember feeling like a dumb blonde after.


Anyways, that's all for now. Take care dudes and dudettes. =)

The answer is right there,

If you look hard and stare.

All you've gotta do is open your eyes,

You'll see past its disguise.

Listening to :

Boyce Avenue - Dare to believe

Crash Into Me

My friends are so awesome to hang out with. I could hang out with them the whole day doing nothing but just chilling. Sometimes I wish I could freeze that moment and stay in it till I'm ready to move on.

8 months from now, we'll all be going everywhere around the world, literally. No matter how much I want to say things will be the same, its not going to be true. I know I'm being all pessimistic and stuff so I'm sorry la. Thinking about this kinda things are making me sad so its making me write sad posts. XD. It might also have to do the fact that I'm listening to slow songs. hahaha. =P

Since I haven't done much interactive posts, I'm gonna try it this time. Tell me people, how are you? and how has life been treating you? You don't have to elaborate your answers if you don't wanna. =)

So just drop me your answer in my cbox and I'll know whether to keep doing that or to just do what I always do. ;)

Anyways, that's all for now.

Oh wait, guess what people?!?!?!? I passed my driving test yesterday!! someone go wooooo!!!

woooooo!!! =D.

I just have to wait for my P license to come and I can be an official driver. don't hold your breath of seeing me drive or me driving you around cause I doubt my parents will ever trust my driving skills till at least the next 6-8 months. XD

P/S : If you haven't noticed, I'm addicted to Boyce Avenue now. THEY ARE AWESOME I TELL YOU! =D.

You were the last person,

I thought I would ever fall for.

I can't stand the things you do sometimes,

But its cause of that,

that I fall even harder.

Listening to :

Boyce Avenue- On my way.

The stars will remain

Sorry I haven't been updating my blog recently, I've been superly uberly busy. Assignments after assignments after assignments. Yeah, you know how college life is.

___________________________________________________________________

Time really flies. I can't believe that its already May and I only have like 2 more months before the semester ends and my 2nd sem and 3rd sem friends are graduating in June and off to uni! ='(

NOOO!!! Now that all the 1st sem student have started to get use to college life, its actually quite hard to know who's in what sem which is a good thing. There isn't like this class system where the 2nd or 3rd sem students thinking they're greater than us or anything like that. Everyone's so integrated. That's one reason I love my course. =D

Anyways, I was thinking about some stuff a couple of days back and I realized that I have an awesome group of friends in college. Therefore, I will dedicate this post to them. If you're not mentioned don't be jealous, I still love you just as much. =)

And I'm not like putting you guys in any order so don't get angry k! =)

First up on the list is Sio Leng Hue. MY GOSH HOW TO DESCRIBE THIS GIRL!! XD Hmmm. Well,

• She's such a positive person, that you feel guilty being down around her. haha.
• She's such a cute girl!
• An awesome photographer and photo editer.
• Her blurness is sometimes funny. =P
• She's a great listening ear.

There's so much more about her that I could say, but I should stop there. Later, the others might get jealous. Nah, just joking. ;)

Next up on the list is, Natasha Falina.

• A tall sexay girl. =)
• Very random sometimes.
• The simple things she says are sometimes so funny that you just can't stop laughing
• A straight-forward person. Its a good thing because honesty is sometimes quite refreshing. =)
• An all out music fanatic. ;)

Next is, Evelyn Quek Hui Jiun.

• A sweet sweet girl. She's so sweet, she just might give you diabetes. XD
• Values friendship a whole lot.
• A pretty, good-sense of style gal.
• And she's smart too. 8-)
• An avid cam-whorer, that I sometimes like to barge in on. =P

Not forgetting Adrianna Jane.

• She's laughs at how I sometimes smile at her, which makes me feel like laughing too.
• Simple but yet stylish kinda girl. =)
• Sociable
• The most patient person I've known thus far.
• Fun

Now on to the guys.

First up is, Victor Tan Shea Khai,

*Victor's the one on the right, with the braces and specs. =P

• He puts up with my crazy, moody, random self. XD
• He's honest
• He gets ulcers AFTER he removes his braces. weird fella. =P
• Enjoys taking Leng Hue's camera to take really non-sense pictures
• A great listening ear and friend in general
• Oh, and he's a lefty and my lunch buddy. hahaha.

Last but not least, "Fish" Wong Minzhi

• His name isn't Fish, but its still fun calling him that. =P
• Goes all high when he has too much sugar but never seems to crash.
• Is wayyy too thin. XD
• Fun to hang out with, and make fun off. =P
• A fun person to talk to cause he'll not only listen but tell you his stories too. =)
• My other lunch buddy. =D

And thus people, these are the awesome people I surround myself with every weekday. Adrianna and Fish are graduating this June. =( So I'm pretty bummed out bout that. Awwww. I'm really gonna miss them. Just when I've made really awesome friends, I'm gonna lose them soon. =(

I hope I'll stay friends with them though. =). So I'm gonna wish them all the best with Uni!

Break a leg people. Not literally cause I know that Fish is capable of doing that unintentionally. XD.

I heart YOU PEOPLE! =)

P/S : I'm gonna be busy these couple of weeks so I might not be able to update my blog as much as I would like, so wait for me yeah. =) My driving exam's on Monday! eeeikkk.. =S. The musical, A Night On Broadway, performed and organized by the Pre-University lecturers and students was AWESOME!!! There were one or two songs I didn't personally like but that was overshadowed by the ones that I DID like. *applause* Great job to all those who were involved. =D

Listening to:

Boyce Avenue- Find Me

Hairspray - You Can't Stop the Beat