Feeling cold.....

Have you ever felt so cold n empty on the inside tat u even feel ur heart freezing?? Well I feel tat now.. I never felt so down and angry at everything.. I think the reason y i like solitude is because if i were to be wid my frens I would take it out on them.. I guess tat's one reason and when i'm alone I can think and be in my own world... So many times I've felt so down tat I dun want to get up.. Frens cheer me up on the outside but not on the inside.. They all dun noe how I truly feel deep down... I can look happy and crazy but deep down do u noe wat I'm feeling?? I alwayz think bout wat will happen if I die?? I noe I'll be missed but soon I'll be forgetten like a distant memory.... Everyone expects so much from me and when I dun match their expectations I feel like I've dissapointed them.. I guess tat's the reason no one sees the true me... I dun dare open up my heart fully to anyone anymore..... I feel so alone... When I'm wid frens i just feel like their the wind, they come and go.... I dun feel like I'm the person I actually am and becoming a person everyone wants or likes me to be.... Sometimes basketball is the only thing tat gets things off my mind..... I really can't stand dis life... And I noe one day be I'll gone wid the wind.....