Stuff tats bugging me..

1st thing
My dad went back into the hospital again on thursday I think (i have things with when it happened).. He had dengue.. Weirdness.. I thought I would get it b4 he did coz more mosquitos bit me.. I guess coz he's immune system is not as strong as mine la since he just had a heart attack at the beginning of the month.. He is going to be discharged 2moro afternoon.. So that's gud..

2nd thing
The next thing that's bugging me is the stupid monthly test.. Damn scared I can't answer alot of the questions.. Damn la!! I have to spend the end of my holidays studying.. STUPID SIAL!!! And I really dun get circles!!! ARGH!! The stupid formula's and crap dun wanna go into my brain!!! And sejarah is like only half going in!!! DAMN LA!! And I haven't even touched other subjects..

3rd thing
I keep getting scolding from everyone... Yish-ness betul!!!! Damn freaking geram!! I never do anything I kena scolding, I do also kena!!! YISH!!!! Like everything I do also is sumhow wrong... Nothing I do is right... ARGH!!!!

4th thing
I dunno whether to trust HIM anymore.. I trust my best fren Kat more than him, I actually trust Kat more than my other frens... But could he have changed for the better and is actually truthfully being nice?? Damn la!!! So confused... I'm afraid he's just a player, not to say that I'm actually saying that he is... I'm just saying that i'm AFRAID that he is... So hard to trust guys nowadays... I really hate players and guys who plays with gals feelings for their entertainment.. And when they actually fall for them they just say oh, i dun like u, sorry or sum other crap... I got played twice and it sucked... Seriously it sux to the max to be played and actually believed that they were telling the truth...

5th thing

I have to do the prefects assignment AGAIN but now its even worse... I have to get MORE signatures... Now I have to get every seniors signature!!!! ARGH!!! More stuffs to finish up.. I hate it la... I dun get y soo leong wants to do it again... Haiz... Come on la!! We have lots of stuff to do adi la, dun la go and add sum more stuff.. Haiz.. DAMN!!! Too many things to finish up!!! ARGH!!! If we dun finish up dis assignment den we can kiss gudbye to the prefectorial board... But sum how I dun really care bout the assignment suprisingly... Haiz.. Got so much crap to buy and pay... Damn geram!!!

I guess that's all for now...

Signing off,
`-LaInA bAnAnA-` :S n grrrr.....

Afraid..

Today I found out that sumone (that I shall name HIM for the time being) kinda likes me -hints hints- .. Haha.. Kinda happy but kinda confused at the same time.. Both of us agreed that we dun want to start a relationship js yet coz of me having PMR and he having SPM this year.. I kinda like HIM and all but I'm just really scared to actually let myself fall for HIM. When I fall for sumone I fall hard... And I deal really badly with rejection.. I guess no one deals well with rejection rite? Haha.. But I'm those type where it takes a really long time to get over.. Haha... Ok I sound really fragile.. haha.. Well, I'm not really THAT FRAGILE!! But I prefer that when he tells me he actually means it and not he's saying it just so he doesn't hurt my feelings.. I feel more hurt when that happens.. Tell me straight if u dun like me.. Dun beat around the bush and tell me lies.. It just hurts even deeper after the truth is out..

I'm trying say that I'm just really afraid that he's just another guy who wants to take advantage of me.. Sum times it sooo hard to find and actually trust truthful guys.. After what happened the a certain sumone I kinda lost all trust in almost all guys... I just dun wanna be used again.. I felt so used, hurt and stupid after him!!! I'm just so afraid that it'll happen again.. Its not to say tat I dun trust HIM, its just I feel so vunerable now, so weak. I dunno how a gal like me can deserve a guy like HIM... I really wonder how.. And why would he fall for me?? There's nothing special bout me.. There are plenty of gals who are much better than me.. I feel touched but yet confused.. I really want to noe that he's REALLY feeling tat way and not just telling me that he feels that way when he doesn't, so just he doesn't hurt my feelings.. I really want HIM to reassure me that he's actually telling me the truth.. Haiz... And I'm afraid our feelings change really fast.. HAIZ!!! I guess that's just way love is.. We just gotta have faith and see what happens..

That's all for now...

Signing off,
`-LaInA bAnAnA-` =S

Trying to change...

I really HAVE to change.. I myself find myself to be irritating.. I think everyone does even my best frens.. Haiz.. I dunno lar.. I guess I'm irritating coz I try to stand out and be funny but my jokes can kinda be offending and irritating.. Haiz.. Seriously trying to change but its so hard.. Things I need to change are:

1. Stop talking behind ppl's back
2. Stop kinda being a hyporcrite.
3. Try to be more friendly to ppl I know.
4. Be more hardworking.
5. Dun rely on others when not possible
6. Learn to chill and relax in my work. I dun have to b perfect
7. Watch less tv and on9 less.
8. Stop assuming stuffs..
9. Really THINK b4 commenting bout ANYTHING!!!

I guess that's pretty much bout it.. B4 the end of dis year I'll let u noe how many I've achieved.. I'm really certain that its gonna be really hard for me to change... But if i never try I guess I'll never know rite?? Haha.. Oh ya and I found out that I'm AB positive.. I never knew what blood group I was in till recently.. Cool.. I'm a universal recipient.. Hehe... I seriously dunno how that is relevant to the topic.. Hahaha.. Well that's all for now.. Ciaoz.. Take care

Signing off,

`-LaInA bAnAnA tEnG-` =)

Crapping..

Another boring post by me.. Had nothing to do so thought I'd blog.. Suddenly into blogging coz of a fellow sumone.. -coughs- ;) Haha.. Doubt that anyone actually reads my blog but dun really care.. Haha.. As long as I've got a place to blabble and crap all I want without anyone judging me. Been kinda bored since I've arrived. Haha. Did nothing much except on9, watch tv, talk, sleep, eat and more talking and eating. Kinda bored. No one I like chatting with are on9.

I never knew being a prefect can be seriously very stressful. I did an assignment recently. The asssignment was to get all the commitee members signature. The aim of it was to get to noe ur seniors and learn patience. Sum of the seniors were kinda nice. They gave us not to hard to do tasks. But sum of the seniors gave us almost next to impossible tasks. We had to do the assignment twice. Lucky the ketua pengawas was nice and he said (after the 2nd time the assignment was due) that he doesn't want us to do the assignment again and he doesn't wanna take up to much of our time. Now the penolong ketua pengawas is asking us to do the assignment only with more ppl dis time. Almost 80 prefects signatures have to be gotten or you'll be kicked off the board. Which is kinda unfair for the gal prefects coz we js got our long skirts made on top of a 5.50 name tag that all prefects must have. I agree with him that sum of us are not meant to be prefects.

Last year I noe I didn't take my job seriously but dis year I'm trying to change. The stupid teacher kinda found out/knew we (my gang) use to miuse the bilik disiplin and lepak there plus we bring our phones and use them inside. But now I seldom even leave the class. I'm afraid I'll get fired coz of my history. Haiz. Kinda stressing. Test is on monday plus we have the assignment. Which is totally not fair. ARGH!!!!! I have to spend the hols studying. Damn!!!! I dunno y I'm taking/ everyone's taking it so seriously dis year.. Mayb coz of PMR la.. But its just a T-E-S-T!!! Damn la!!!! Early in the year adi got so much things to deal with.. Haiz.. I guess tat's all la.. Ciaoz..

Signing off,

`-LaIna BaNaNa TeNg-`