All I Want Is..

All I want is to know what the hell I'm doing... Why has it affected me so much?? I just want to not have a care in the world.. Why can't I have that?? Why do I always have to worry about things that I could do better off without?? Does it all pay off in the end?? Caring about things I could do without??? I don't know anymore.. No one notices the pain.. I don't need any more criticism or condemnation.. I already have enough of that.. Sometimes I just want everyone to leave me alone so I know what I want to do and not what everyone else wants me to do.. Someone said that the most important thing is to follow your heart, but if your heart's not telling you anything but you know its not what the others are saying? What do you do then? Where do you go?

I could go on and on with the rhetorical questions. Some of that only I could answer. I NEED ANSWERS!!! Where do I find them?

What I really want more than anything in the world is to be free from EVERYTHING!!!! Just to feel free..

Random thought :
What am I supposed to say when I'm all chocked up and you're okay..