:')

You know you have an awesome bro (both in blood and bro-ship) when,

1. He/She gets more angry at something that should make you angry.
2. He/She gets angry on your behalf and shouts obscenities you don't want to shout.
3. He/She picks you up when you're moping on the floor, practically glued to it.
4. He/She slaps you in the face (both metaphorically and literally) when you're being whiney.
5. He/She hates the person who hurts you.
6. No matter what you know you can lean on him/her.
7. He/She doesn't care about your flaws and is still there for you no matter what.
8. All you have to do is give him/her signals and he/she knows whats going through your mind or what you're about to say.
9. He/She knows you so much better than you know yourself.
10. He/She never ever gives up on you.
    
    

They make life so much easier to live and to know that you're never alone. :)

The Day She Went Away.

Jessica Loo Hsing Wen left today! :'( Today cannot be any sadder. It's setting in now that you left! :(((((( Why did London have to take you for so long?!

I was having a nap in the afternoon (since I had to wake up at like 5am! :P) and I suddenly woke up and was like, "Jessica's gone. *sniffles sniffles*" and I couldn't go back to sleep and even when I did, I had a nightmare! Gah.

Things will be so different without you now. Especially with things like this,

:) hahahaha. See now that you're gone, I won't have random funny moments like these anymore. :( Haih! When you get settled in, we'll skype okay! I'll see whether I can round up all the Pitts and we'll group skype! :D

I'm gonna miss that empty seat every Sunday and you're painful and happy hellos. And I promise I'll write you an awesome message for Christmas okay! Hehe :) I hope you'll get to read this blog post soon and know that I'm super missing you now! :D

By the way Jess, read the song I wrote that I'm listening to. ;)

Oh and I just realized we don't have pictures of just the both of us! :(

I'm listening to

Hold On- Michael Buble

Giving myself a second chance.

I know I owe those of you who are still reading, an update.

I've realized I've been talking a lot, to anyone who would listen, on just about anything and everything. I feel like I'm reverting back to my old self. The one I despised, the one no one else liked, the one who felt so alone. I promised myself I wasn't going back to that.

Anyways, this post isn't about that. I promised some people, that I'll try to make this a happy post.

Well, I'm on my break now and will be returning for my Year 2 in my Bachelor of Law some time in October. People keep asking me how it is, and all I can say is that its intense. Really intense. That's why I'm thoroughly enjoying my break now. My dad's also been taking us out places. Today, we went to this place called Tanjung Sepat for some pretty good seafood. Then we walked around Morib beach. It was pretty hot so we didn't stay for long but still it was a nice trip. :)

Oh and yesterday I Skyped with my bestie, Philip Teo Wern Jie, who's in Canada now and I didn't realize how much I missed him! :( You suck for going so far! :P Can we please skype again soon?! And you need to learn how to multitask! :P Hahaha. But it was a very awesome bonding skype call. Come back soon okay! :)

My little puppy is growing so big now! Ahhh! She's only 7 months but she already almost looks like her mother, in terms of size and features. But she's still my little cuddly puppy. Destructive as ever but still so adorable. I miss having the 9 puppies running everywhere with their cute fat tummies after the milk. :(

Hmmm. What else... Oh! For my birthday I got the best present ever from the Pitts! They gave me a really big stuffed toy dog we eventually named Patch. They gave it to me cause I've been pretty emo recently so whenever they can't give me hugs, Patch'll be there for me. :') That was pretty much the highlight of my birthday.

Okay before I starting ranting or becoming emo or babble on some more, I think I should stop here. For all those of you who are still reading my blog. Thank you for having hope in me to post something new up. :P hahaha. Since I'm on break, I promise I'll try harder kays. :)

Oh and check out a project I'm doing. If you have me on facebook, the album is called, "Let yourself smile, even for awhile. :)" But if you don't, you can click here and it'll lead you to my Flikr account where there are some picture. :)

Take care! :) Till the next post! And please do comment so I know that there are people who are reading and I don't feel like I'm talking to myself. :P

P/S: My blogger account is giving me a hard time on changing the colours, font and anything that makes it interesting. Sorry if its mundane! I have no idea how to put the colour back! :( Oh and I've changed my background and layout a little so let me know what you think bout it. :)

I'm listening to

Read My Mind - Alex Goot

I thought I meant something to you,

But I guess not,

Cause to you I'm a distant memory,

Something that can be left behind.

Promises that were made,

Mean nothing now.

No matter how much I want to believe,

That you'll keep it.

Note to self: Stop having expectations.

When you have no where else.

I didn’t know who to turn to so late in the night. Plus I don’t feel like talking to anyone but him. Its the first time I’m blogging since it happened. Doesn’t make it feel any easier. Nor does it hurt any less.

I’m actually procrastinating from sleeping cause what I dreamt last night hurt me so much. I wanted him so badly but yet I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. He had moved on and found someone else but I didn’t know that. Not yet anyways. So when he came back to me I was happy again until I found that he had that girl. I didn’t wanna be the girl who broke up a relationship so instead of having him, I pulled away and watched him slip through my fingers again. I guess my greatest fear manifested itself. My fear of having to watch him get another girl while I hang on to him.

Sometimes I wonder whether it was my short comings that made him wanna let go now. That made him want to end it now. What if I was hotter? What if I was everything he wanted me to be? Would he have stayed?

I have so much to say and yet, I don’t know what to say.

You think you’re getting stronger but instead of taking a step forward, you’re foot just takes off and lands where it was before. Something like what I used to do in school, jogging setempat. You’re never moving anywhere but yet, you’re tired from just jogging in that one spot. That’s how I feel.

2 weeks and it still doesn’t feel any easier. Should I? Shouldn’t I? A question I have to ask myself every time before I decide on whether to talk to you. It never used to be this hard. I never had to think of whether to talk to you. Now I have no choice but to ask myself.

P/S: forgive me for the lack of bright colours and what I usually do.

realization

After class today, some of my classmates started some mind-boggling, pay-attention-and-observe-the-answer-is-right-in-front-of-you kinda puzzles. There were like 4 different puzzles to figure out and well, I couldn't even figure out one.

I gotta admit it made me really frustrated and I still am. But it doesn't really matter now. No point in staying frustrated anyways.

Why I'm bringing this up is cause as we were playing the games, and as I sat there watching the frustration rise in others, I realized something. I've come to realize that we're not satisfied with the answer we get until we figure out how the answer was gotten. We try and try and try all sorts of answers in hopes that we'll get the answer and probably the reasoning behind it. And sometimes when we can't figure out that reasoning, we start getting frustrated at ourselves and everything. We go on for years trying to figure out why. Sometimes it takes us years, even centuries to figure out why and when we finally figure it out, it seems so insignificant and sooner or later, we move on to something else to figure out.

What I've come to learn is to let go of things that I should instead of letting it bring me down. So I'm letting the fact that I couldn't get the answers to any of the puzzles go and moving on. :)

its been long. :)

Okay I know I haven't blogged in like 3 months. 

Ever since work started to pick up in Uni, I've barely had time to do anything. Plus, the passion to blog is gone. Nooooo! But yes.

Anyways, not much to blog about actually. A lot of dramatic stuff has happened these few months that aren't really worth going into for the sake of not spreading gossip which I realize I have a tendency to do but nyeh, I don't announce it publicly. But no, if you tell me not to tell anyone, I will not. :) Seee! I don't break promises and I can keep secrets.

Since, the only thing I've been busy with is Law School, I'll briefly blog about it (cause there technically isn't much to blog about). Erm. I'll start with the lecturers, I kinda like my lecturers. They're really cool. I am pretty intimidated by one of them to the point of silence. Yes, I would rather just sit there and nod though I may not understand. Oh moots (something like a mock trial) has started and my turn would be in like a month. I know I'll procrastinate so yeah. I promise I'll get to work on it! Soon. XD Syllabus wise, its been pretty intense. So intense I spent my week's break studying for my mock test. It doesn't even count for the finals. Yes, I'm that kiasu and scared. Ohhhh! And I finally got my contract law book after like 4 months of waiting for stock. =_=! And I accidently bent the front cover of my criminal law book! Nooooo! Yes people I am a perfectionist when it comes to preserving my books (well some of them) and I'm reading a book to lessen my perfectionist attitude. :)

Yeap, I guess that's all. Oh and just a point to add to the point above, the work load is like, I can't even think of an example. Let's just say, you're literally exhausted by the end of the week and even the weekends doesn't feel like a break. And when you finally get a break, its like you just resurfaced from being underwater for too long. I'm honestly not joking about the last part. I finished my assignment early this week and I was like "I CAN BREATHE!!! :D"

P/S : check out my facebook or possibly my tumblr cause I'm doing this positive words on a picture project thingy. :) and sorry, I know my life's become pretty boring. :(

Your thoughts are all mixed up,

You try to set it apart,

Its hard to see,

Life so serene again.

I'm listening to

Nothing - The Script

looking.at.life.through.a.window

Somehow when you take a step back from life and just look at it, it seems pretty different.

Well, at least that’s how I felt. I’ve been quietly (sometimes not so quietly) observing everything that goes on in my life and trying to see what it would be like if I wasn’t there, no I don’t mean it in a way of whether I was born or not but more of if I was not there in that situation kind of thing. Get my drift? I hope you do.

These past few days have been a little bumpy. Classes are still as usual. Starting to cope better now. Still not much to say about it besides, its alright. I feel bad whenever someone asks me “How’s Uni?” and all I can answer is, “It’s okay." But there is really nothing else to say. It is okay. It has its good days and its bad just like anything else.

On a related note, I have done all my first tutorials for all subjects but Criminal Law which I am rather looking forward to. For those of you who don’t know what tutorial’s are, it is where we are given a set of questions related to the lecture to prepare and are to be discussed in tutorials. Because lectures are big, tutorials help students test their understanding on the topic and also, have more attention from the lecturer. Its more like a class review in small groups. Yup, just an insight for those of you who don’t know what tutorials are.

Oh! The most “tragic” thing happened to me last Thursday. We had this lecture that was cancelled and so, Jameson and I decided to go back to SS15 to have lunch with our friends thinking we have a long break (10.00-1.30). We came back at about 1.15pm and when I reached class, I was quite taken aback when I didn’t see anyone outside class which is highly unusual seeing as there are usually people hanging outside. So I checked my timetable and guess what? Class was at 12.00pm and not 1.30pm. It was such an FML moment. We had no idea how we so confidently thought that class was at 1.30pm and not at 12.oopm. In other words, we had accidently skipped class. We got so emo, we sat in the car for like 15 mins being emo and eating chocolate and then headed to Galvin’s house to hang out with him and to emo some more then play some PS3 games  

I guess I better stop now. My post became so long. =_=! Sorry!!

P/S: I’ve realized I talk a lot now. So if I talk to much, please do stop me. Hmmm. That might not work either cause I tend to interrupt people and continue talking. Err. Hmmm, I guess just tell me I’m talking too much. :) Thanks. And I’m trying some fonts thus the different fonts for almost each paragraph. :)

Take care people.

 

I’m listening to

Landslide – Dixie Chicks

I’m afraid of what might be,

Afraid of the unknown,

Afraid of disappointing and of disappointment.

There is nothing to do but take a day at a time.

when.you.suddenly.run.out.of.words.

I’m trying to find a better way of titling my posts. Right now it seems pretty formal. I guess I’ll be reverting back and forth between different styles till I find one that I like and am comfortable with.

Don’t you hate how you have so much to say and when you’re given the chance, you’re suddenly at a lost for words? That’s what I’m feeling right now. As I was showering a while ago, I had so much I wanted to blog about but now that I’m blogging, nothing seems to be coming out. I suddenly don’t have anything to blog about or say.

Something totally random. I hate the new facebook profile. I can’t see what my last status update was unless I scroll down all the way and look for it neither can I do that for my friends. Besides that, I don’t really care about the rest. I just need some readjustment but I’ll be fine.

P/S : In my opinion, finishing a good book is like losing a friend. Sometimes I get so caught up in the story, it feels like I’m missing something once I’m done with the book. I got these 2 books for about RM12-15 each and I have to say its just as interesting as the books I pay up to RM40 for. My gums (not chewing gum but it does make me want to chew gum though) between my teeth somewhere at the back of my mouth is throbbing in pain. Great. Thanks.

I’m listening to

Tomorrow We Will Fly – Sam Hart (blinktwice4y)

Trying so hard to be alright,

When its only tears that fill your eyes.

Trying to close your heart,

To all the hurt inside.

Moving On To Another Chapter..

Yes I know I haven’t updated my blog in a long while. I’ve been enjoying my holidays as much as I could by doing absolutely nothing. How awesome is that? :D I probably won’t have an opportunity like that again, not for a very long time at least.

For those of you who don’t know, I’ve started University already. I’m pursuing a degree in Law. So I will be graduating in 3 years time with a Bachelor in Law hopefully with first class honours. At the worse, second upper.

Probably from now on, my posts would be a little bit more formal and a little bit more serious. I have to start my training from now onwards. I will occasionally relax and be myself when I feel like it. :)

I’ll only be starting classes next week so I can’t tell you much about how Uni is. The only things that I can tell you is the campus is huge, and expensive. Just lunch alone could set you back RM8-10 inclusive of a drink. I have to admit that I am feeling quite guilty that I have enrolled myself in one of the most (or most) expensive Law school’s in Malaysia. So I am trying to cut back wherever I can. Sorry if I’m being calculative and cheap people. I will try to not be so annoying and anal about it.

I guess that’s pretty much about what I’ve been up to recently. Well, not only that but the others are pretty minor. 

Oh and Leng Hue’s leaving tomorrow!! *sad face* I’ll be seeing her off at the airport tomorrow with probably tears in my eyes. awww. D:

P/S : My friend posted this on her wall and now I’m addicted to this website. It has one of the most hilarious stuff I’ve ever seen. This being the one I laughed loudest and hardest at : http://theoatmeal.com/comics/handshakes

Take care people! See ya soon, I hope. :)

I’m listening to

Why – Secondhand Serenade

I know I’ve fallen in love with you,

The timing of it may not be right,

But yet, I’m ready to hurt,

Just so I may have a moment with you. :)

would you have rather..

Would you have rather loved and lost or not have loved at all?

I would choose whichever would hurt the less. Looking at the two choices, it would look like the latter would be the choice I should have chosen, instead I chose the former.

I'm not being a pessimist but rather a realist by saying I know that we would be parting ways some time in the future, when precisely, I don't know.

Going back, I don't know why, even with knowing that it would probably never last more than a year and a half, that I still got into it. I knew that he would be leaving, I knew that I won't, I knew so many things and yet, I got myself into it. I've also just realized that its history repeating itself.

Why? I have absolutely no idea. Why do we do things we know will end up bad? Why do we do things we know that will end up hurting us? There are so many possibilities. But to me, the main reason why was because I held on to the hope.

The hope that it MAY work out, the hope that it'd be different, the hope that everything will be alright.

Don't we always do that in live though? We always hope for things cause that's the only we can do in a future so uncertain.

P/S: As you can see, I've taken off my chatbox well cause it kinda expired due to its inactiveness. So yup. I will put it back up sometime in the future I guess but meanwhile you can just comment on my posts. Thanks.